This blog is about my reaction to words we run into every day. At different times in our lives even simple words mean different things. My wish is that when you read my blog you feel something you did not feel before and motivate yourself toward something new.

Trust

by Motivation on August 30, 2017

earThis is my pretty little left ear. I’m paying homage to it because it’s asking for my attention.

On Wednesday July 26th at 11am it stopped hearing. I know what time it was because it was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.  I knew something was wrong.  My ear stopped working.

Two emergency rooms, MRI, CT Scan, blood work, steroids, another MRI and a few other locations/goodies have been part of my adventures since that moment in July.  No trace of stroke or tumor was found.  Phew!

I am doing everything I can possibly do to find out if it’s permanent, what caused it and what the solutions are to make me comfortable if it is permanent.

My life was pretty darn full when this happened.  Like most of you, I had enough on my plate. Then THIS!  There was every reason for me to make myself crazy, feel overloaded, worry and ask “Why me?”

I did those things for a little bit and then I decided to trust.

I trust that all will be well. I trust that I have the power and resourcefulness to get what I need to move through this by taking even greater care of the thoughts in my head and the love in my heart.

This is the perfect opportunity to perfect the work I do helping others to communicate through conflict.  THIS is a perfect example of conflict because conflict is something that takes us off our game.  How we communicate during times of conflict determines how much we move forward or stay stuck.

This is what I am doing to move forward and trust:

  • I am saying YES to what is in front of me.  I am not imagining outcomes that are not here because that would be looking for reasons to fear.
  • I am tuning down the input I generate and the input I receive from others.
  • I am grateful to wake up and be given the chance to live my life.  Today is perfect. Tomorrow is not here yet.

I have figured out that when I trust, I see and HEAR what I need to do to take my next step. When I do not trust, I become stressed and when I’m stressed and can’t see or HEAR what I need to see and HEAR to do what I need to do.

Quite frankly my friends, I am grateful to see, still hear out of one ear and to be able to walk and talk.  And heavens to Betsy, you know how much I LOVE to talk!

As I keep you posted on my progress, I promise to find more ways to uncover the power of YES with this event in my life to better help you navigate the conflict you encounter in yours.

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Ego

by Motivation on July 10, 2017

EgoYour ego is made up of what you know about you, holding memories of both good and bad events, and of people who have disappointed you and people with which you’ve shared joy. The ego can hold a lot of information and can keep us stuck when we’re communicating. The ego looks to control things. It’s got all this information and thinks it can fix things.

Clients often tell me, “I want to get her to…” “I need him to…” “We can reward this team when they finally…”

In an improv workshop a few weeks ago, two of my fellow improvisers provided a great example of how we can address this.   The first improviser walked into the scene and holding her cheek (looking like she was in pain) and said, “The dentist was a killer…”

The second actor heard something different and said, “The dentist was killed?”

As the actor holding her cheek was about to correct her and say, “No, that’s not what I said,” the director whispered…

“Say YES…”

When she said “yes” the second line was, “YES! I was sitting in the chair and some crazy person walked in and killed him! Now my mouth is a mess because he couldn’t finish!”

We howled! It was a lot funnier to hear the unexpected outcome rather than hear someone steer the scene with the exchange she planned.

THIS is your ego in YOUR exchanges with others. Ego drives us to govern the scenes we enter in our lives. When we do this we miss the opportunity to see something new.

When clients tell me “I want her to…I need him to…this team really needs to…” I ask them to consider what they’re missing while they wait for what they want.

Whether you like it or not, your ego it is part of you. There is a way for you to communicate with your ego and direct it more often than it directs you.

Three ways to Say YES and move past your Ego:

1.) Trust the Silence. When we get what we want, we’re satisfied. When we wait for what we want, we’re frustrated. Learn to trust that the time in between things happening is there to build the trust you have in you and the people in your orbit.

2.) Re-evaluate top tasks. If people around you are not delivering, maybe you need to communicate a simpler list and/or simpler desired outcomes. Simple is the key word here. You may not need what you think you need.

3.) Know what you fear. Your ego is trying to control your exposure to the things you fear. When you know what you fear, you’ll be more mindful in the spaces where fear presents itself. This is a great time to pause before you speak and take in what you need to learn.

It’s natural to have a strong ego. You’ll become an agile communicator when you’re aware of how your ego leads. You’ll generate interest by the people around you because you’ll sound open. You’ll be encouraging. You’ll be approachable.

You may end up FIXING yourself and attracting more than you imagined FIXING would produce!

For more YES communications work, explore my one-on-one YES words training page.

 

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Growing

April 25, 2017

A few months ago my cousin returned from a weekend away with some of her closest friends and when I asked her how it was, she said, “It was perfect.” I asked what made it perfect, she said, “We’re all still growing.”  “Still growing” was the equivalent of perfect. I couldn’t agree more. This is […]

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Offer

January 11, 2017

Christmas Eve morning I woke up at 4:30 from a GREAT dream. My subconscious was so active that when I woke up I felt like I was finishing an actual conversation I was having in real time and I felt really motivated. I dreamt that Lin Manuel Miranda, the creator of “Hamilton” The Musical (as […]

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Simple

December 19, 2016

We are all very different and yet, we all want the same things. We want to be happy and feel successful. Getting to this seems much harder than it’s ever been before. We’re having a hard time because there are more places than ever to communicate. We’re posting, emailing, texting, talking on our phones. We’re […]

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Formula

October 26, 2016

I am often asked how I grew such a network of people and how I get the speakers for my networking dinners. How did I land Ryan Smith, Head of Global Human Resources for GE Business Innovations, overseeing 20,000 people? How did I turn guest Lt. Gen. Mills into a regular coaching client? How did […]

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Conversation

July 26, 2016

The messages of conflict presented to us in the news every day may keep us from feeling like we have control over what happens in our lives.  Now more than ever, we need to uncover ways to communicate successfully. I said YES to an invitation to speak alongside the former President of Planned Parenthood, Gloria […]

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Time

July 7, 2016

There are events in life that present themselves over and over again and there are events in life that happen only once. This past month, I watched my oldest son graduate from high school and attend his college orientation. These milestones went off without a hitch, but not without some struggle and a lot of […]

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Sorry

April 15, 2016

I recently had a meltdown and caused a scene in front of my children in reaction to something their father – my former significant other – said to me. I am not proud of the way I yelled and lost my temper. I am not proud of how long it took me to pull myself […]

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Love

February 13, 2016

You can love anything. You can love a day of the week, you can love a particular kind of food, you can love a song and you can love a sound. You can love anything. Love is available to you in every space you enter. I encourage my clients to tap into the way they […]

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